so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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