I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
