I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
