She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
