you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She is in my trunk
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
