I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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