Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
