I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
