new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
