you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
