Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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