i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
