I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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