Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
