i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
