I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize