Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
