Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
oh god the rape fog is back!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
