On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i wish my penis had a tongue
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
