Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just had sex bonerless
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
