I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I cut my penus on the lid.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There's always time for handjobs
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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