your thong is hanging out like whoa
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
