Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I will pee on everything he values.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
