oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
