I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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