Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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