Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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