I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
