i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
