I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
