You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
