what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
