Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You can't motorboat a personality
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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