we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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