i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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