I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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