I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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