I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
