areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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