Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
