they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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