Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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