Tell her she can't have a vagina
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize