My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
