So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
