everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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