K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
