Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
