Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
