Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize