Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
