Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
