If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
