Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
