Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
