Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
