We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
