I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
