dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The uberlube is also flammable
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
